- 1 LB, 89 To Go

Well, slowly but surely...

I have found a new lunch that is pretty tasty. I get a whole wheat tortilla and spread some Naturally More Peanut Butter on it and layer it with a sliced banana. It is really fulfilling - plus the peanut butter has flax seed in it which is good for you.

Next week I go on vacation to the mountains. My food choices are going to be a challenge. The rest of my family has quit trying to lose weight - so the healthy food choices won't be so abundant. So, I am going to have to think ahead and prepare meals just for myself. It is a lot harder to change alone - but I don't want this to be yet another failed attempt. For exercise I plan on hiking trails and doing lunges, sit ups, push ups - stuff like that everyday.

I hope everyone has a great week - and if you live in the States a great holiday! Be back on the 8th!

-1 LB, 90 To Go

Well, I guess that is some good news huh?

I have been working out religiously and trying to eat healthier choices. I have loved how in control working out makes me feel, and I tried out a kickboxing class and really enjoyed it! I looked like a fool - but I just laughed at myself and kept going, at least I am trying! The kickboxing instructor had so much energy and was so excited, now granted I know she isn't like that all the time - but I NEVER feel like that and I crave it. My husband always tells me that if you want to be better you gotta hang out with people who challenge you. Getting physically fit is a huge challenge - but one I want dearly.

My trainer has been showing me how simple moves can really work your muscles. I dunno I guess it kinda hit me that you don't have to be a genius to get fit you just have to move and keep moving.

My trainer was talking to me about nutrition. She asked me what I had problems with in my diet and I told her that I eat too much processed food that I have around for the kids and not enough whole grains, veggies etc. She said, "...you can't have Oreo's in the house - they do nothing for your body whatsoever..." I dunno why it has taken so long but a bell went off in my head. If I want to have a good looking body that responds then I gotta spend the extra money on the premium gasoline. I mean seriously how many hot models do you see with Oreo's, Little Debbies, and Cokes in their fridges? You can't have beautiful skin, radiant hair, polished nails feeding your body corn syrup and preservatives.

Now, there are some women who can eat junk and still look hot. I know a few - but they all have acne, run tired and out of breath easily. If I could be thin and hot without effort but feel the same as I do now, would I want that over working hard but resulting with a beautiful body, mind, spirit?

I think for the first time in my life I don't want to take the easy route. I'm changing slowly but surely...

+ 6 LB, 91 To Go

Gosh, I am really frustrated.

All last week I met with my trainer and she worked my butt out. This week I am on my own - which I know I will be fine. The huge gain is such a depressing thing to see. I am so discouraged.

I am not really sure why I have had such a huge gain. I know that you gain when you first start doing weights - but 6 lbs? Secondly, I have been off my meds for about 3 weeks now - mostly due to the insurance company taking their sweet time to get my enrollment info to me. So, I could be gaining because I have been without my metformin. Being without my wellbutrin hasn't been easy either. I have been a real capital "B" lately.... I hate that.

So, anyways - I am determined NOT to quit - this will happen! I have to just keep telling myself that set backs are going to happen on this never ending journey.

Possibly A New Chapter

OK, as everyone knows I have been doing horribly lately. But I got off my rear and called a local personal trainer and had my first session yesterday. I ended up fainting - so we all know I was actually doing some progress - just maybe a little too much at once! :)

But, after hitting my first plateau I found myself slowly creeping back towards my old habits. I am serious about change so I did what I have been really terrified to do - experience a REAL workout - with the discomfort included. I am so lazy...I want to workout but not be inconvenienced. I have been working out since December and I have loved it. But, my workouts were all cardio and the worst that happened was I lost my breath and got really sweaty. Yesterday we didn't do one thing cardio - all resistance training.... You aren't moving fast but man it is hard! It kicks your butt hardcore! Simple push ups, sit ups, squats.... My muscles were shaking about 2 mins into it. But, I am learning what I have to do to get the results I want.

I go back this afternoon for another assessment - and even though I am really sore I am excited.

+2, 85 To Go

Argh. I have been doing terribly lately. I haven't been tracking what I eat and I'm having a horrible time controlling my urges to overeat. Portion sizes, portion sizes!

Every time I have tried to change the way I eat after about 3 months I find myself sabotaging the success I have made. Why? I dunno... I get comfortable and start slipping back into my old ways. But I want this time to be different - I want to keep trucking through. I WANT TO CHANGE! I don't want to make excuses for myself - I don't want to be lazy!

I have so many cool things coming up this year to keep me motivated - but I quickly forget about them when I don't want to watch my portions. This year I am going to Seattle for the first time, the beach, and the mountains. I haven't been on vacation since 2004! In 2004 we traveled overseas and I was at 260, where I am now - and I had bruises on my hips from the plane ride because I had to stuff myself into the seat. It was so embarrassing when I couldn't put the tray down to eat my dinner because my stomach was too big. I don't want that to happen this year - I don't want to feel that way again.

I read success stories about people who just start changing how they eat and lose a ton of weight and never go back... yet I keep running around the same mountain -- do those people never run into obstacles?