Ah, well in the month of April I actually gained a pound. March was an awesome month with a 9 LB loss. I guess we all have some bad days, weeks, and months.... right? Oh, well I am determined to make May worth while.
My mouth isn't gonna win this month!
This month has been a BIG challenge...
But I have been getting up at 5:30 am and trekking it to the gym to workout. Working out at night was just too difficult to insure -- so now I go before my husband leaves for work. I made it 3 times this week ;) My goal is to go 3X a week until the end of May ... then I may bump it up to 4X week.
I have been very forgetful lately on the reasons why I want to work so hard to lose weight. My munching has been taking over and I have been really lazy about what I eat and if I journal it. So, I made myself a *Reward* Chart for some motivation.
@ 255: A new purse and wallet. (I need one for the summer!)
@ 235: New gym shoes. (I really want a new pair of Nike's!)
@ 215: A new mattress. (Ours has huge sags in it where I have laid on it!)
@ 195: New jewelry. (Smart Glass Jewelry)
@ 175: New hairdo!
I have already figured out the purse and shoes I want - it motivates me to know I can go get these things because of my hard work.
I also made a deal with myself that everyday that I stick to my point range and eat healthy I will deposit $1 into my savings account. When I get to my goal I will take the money and do something special for myself with it. Who knows what - but I am sure I won't have any problems deciding then! Now, if within that same week I have a horrible day I will subtract a $1 out of the account. So, if in 1 week I do great 5 days but mess up 2 then I will deposit $5 but subtract $2 giving me only $3 to deposit. I figured this goal could motivate me to not think "Oh, this extra *something something* won't hurt me." I am going to do my deposits on a weekly basis starting next week.
Whatever works right?
Argh... this week has been horrible! I am PMSing so bad - I am irritable, and all I want to do it eat mindlessly! I have been munching on cookies, chips, coke... the list could go on. While I am PMSing I feel like I have lost the reins, sturups and I am running wild!
How do you handle it?
When I go for something to munch on I grab some gum and go wild trying to keep myself at bay. It works for a little bit. I figure if smokers can replace smoking with chewing gum then I can replace my munchies with gum chewin'.
When I am PMSing things that usually don't tempt me begin to...I found a left over Dark Chocolate bunny from easter and it tasted so good - I wished it lasted forever!
I would love to hear from anyone about how you compromise with your PMS!!!
Well, I have reached the 10% mark.
Many things I have read claim that once you lose 10% of your body fat that your P.C.O.S. symptoms will improve.
Have mine improved? Well, I am controlling my sugar levels better, and my acne has reduced significantly. My hair growth has prolly gotten a little worse... but other than that I am starting to feel a lot better.
On a positive note, I have noticed an increase in my energy levels. As far as my body, my pants are much baggier. I can take off my jeans without unbuttoning them - which is nice! My stomach fat has been reduced significantly - which helps my insulin resistance. Plus, I can bend over more easily and cross my legs more easily too. All of these things help keep me motivated to keep trying my best to change.
I want control again - and I know I can have it. God promises it, I just gotta work for it. After carrying this weight for the past years I don't' mind at all the work that comes before the reward!
Sometimes I get anxious because I don't think I am losing fast enough. I know... I am demented! But, I remind myself that I am in no rush and I should enjoy the journey of learning how to change. What a simple thing that can be soooo hard!
Ah, well I haven't been the best angel this week, so I can't blame anyone but myself. There were some days this week that I didn't get any veggies in... yes, I know it is horrible!
Oh, well today is a start of a new week - and I am going to do much better!
Tonight, my husbands family is coming over for dinner. They want a meatless pasta dish for Lent and they are bringing something chocolate oriented for dessert. I am thinking of making myself some angel food cake that I can have for dessert that won't be so high in points.
I just hate eating something different than everyone else.. everyone always asks you why you aren't eating their food... "You don't like it?", "You're on a diet?" Then I have to explain everything to them... and I hate it -- they all are skinny and don't think twice about their weight much less what they eat... I am the only fat one in the bunch and I hate getting attention for it.
We are all going to the beach in September for a family trip. I really hope that by then I will have made a lot more progress so I won't feel so out of place in my bathing suit. Mostly, I want my good eating habits to be much more of a habit so their dining won't be hard to resist.
Abba put up her five favorite weaknesses, and I started thinking of my own...
1. Filet Mignon
2. Chocolate Chip Cookies
3. Burritos
4. Coke/Root Beer
5. Cupcakes
I am a huge carb freak. I love bread, sugary cakes... I love cupcakes with filling in the middle... I LOVE dunkin donuts cream filled donuts... I love anything chocolate chip oriented... anything Mexican oriented.
I constantly battle with my addiction with sugar. Sometimes I wish the crap didn't exist. I have thought that it may be due to my insulin resistance as to why I crave it all the time. Since my cells don't absorb insulin, they don't get glucose - so my brain screams for sugar and I go nuts trying to get enough, then finally my body gets its glucose and I crash... It is a HORRIBLE cycle. But, thank God for medicine - because now that I have been consistently taking it for 6 months + my sugar cravings have diminished quite a bit. It is a lot easier to manage my portion sizes.
You know, my husband is starting to notice my weight loss. Since he sees me everyday I knew that when he started to notice my weight loss - I would be making some mad progress. It feels really nice to be actually accomplishing something that I thought was near impossible... but I don't want to jinx myself because I still have a way to go.. and a lot more to learn.
Wow, I didn't realize how much my cycle makes a difference in the scales. I think I will be able to live with it, though... ;)
I set mini goals each week, and each month for my weight loss. It keeps me going, and I don't get overwhelmed with the larger picture. This month my goal was 259 by today... I missed it by 1 lb - I think that is pretty good!
I am sick once again - so I have missed the gym all this week. Really ticks me off because I want to go! I love putting on my iPod and just letting my mind go. It is the one time in my day that I can be alone and think only about myself and what I want to accomplish.
You might wonder why I am always sick... well combination of children and 5,000 + pollen count and you have your answer. Gotta love it!
My hubbie and I got to get away to a Thrashers game last night - I want to get a Jersey to wear to the games but I told myself I am going to wait until next season (October) when I can get into a Large... I want this one.
I am going to get into it too! (Positive thinking works... right?!?)
Ah... I was doing so well this past month... but I am hoping that my gain is primarily due to my cycle.. lets hope!
I hate my period. About 3 days before its arrival I get so iggy, and I just want to munch & munch! But, really paying attention to my reactions this month has brought some things into light for me. I feel extremely anxious while PMSing. I can't sleep, I worry about everything, and in return I get really irritable. I just feel really stressed in general. But, about 2 days into my period I start to feel normal again, and controlling my snacking is easy again.
About every week I try to write something down, or find a picture that motivates me. I usually keep it in my pocket, in my purse, or better yet on the cookie tin! Last week's motivational message was a reminder that a new mall is opening close to my place in October and I want to go shopping and enjoy every bit of it! This week I found a picture on a L. B. coupon I got in the mail. I really love the picture. She is curvy, normal sized, yet beautiful. That is what I want to achieve. I don't want to be a supermodel, or super thin, I just want to be a beautiful woman.
Oh my gosh!!! I lost 2 lbs this week again! I am so pumped! I can't believe that I now only have 88 lbs to lose... 88 sounds so much better than 113! My brother saw me today and told me he could tell that I am losing weight -- I can't believe I am finally getting somewhere! You fight yourself for so long and now I finally feel as if I am starting to make progress. I am so glad that I have all the ladies and gents in the weight loss world to share it with! I pray that everyone else has as good of results if not better!
Wow, this weeks loss was a real shock to me. I didn't do the greatest with my food choices, but I did stay within my points range. I was expecting to have no change if I was lucky!
So, things have been relatively easy with the points system. I first tried WW back in 2001. I failed miserably, and hated the diet. But, looking back on everything that has happened, I believe I had to endure much more restrictive diets, and failures so I could grow into really wanting to be healthy, and not so much for vanity purposes. Now, don't get me wrong I do look forward to liking my body again, liking my reflection, and liking my image... but now that is just icing on the cake... not the cake itself.
Yay! I am so pumped that I lost 2 lbs doing WW! It was amazingly easy for me... just knowing I can have pretty much whatever I want motivates me to move forward just because I don't have to freak about .. "Can I eat that?" "Is that food included on my list?" So, I am one happy chic!
The only obstacle I am facing now is going to the gym. I have to wait on my hubby to get home so I can go.. but more and more he can't make it home in time for me to go before I'm too tired to go. This past week I had to ask my mom to watch the kids so I could go... at least once this past week. My mom doesn't live close by... it can take me up to 45 minutes to get to her place and then I have to drive another 20 to get back to the gym and back to her place then back to my house... yeah, BIG pain. So, I guess I am going to have to start going during the day when my kids are in school - my youngest is in MDO so that only comes twice a week. The only reason I don't go then is because my bestest friend in the whole wide world supports me by going with me after she gets off of work. To give you an idea of why she is the BFITWWW, she goes to school from 9-330 - then work from 5-930 - and then she meets me at the gym at 945 and works out with me until 11pm! That is her schedule Mon - Fri!!! To boot -- she is only 13 lbs overweight... yeah I couldn't do without her!
Alright, my kids are calling... I hope everyone has a wonderful week and happy scales next week!!!
Kinda not surprised that I didn't lose this week. There were two days that I just binged...and usually I binge on something that is sweet - but this time it was chips, popcorn, pretzels.. all I wanted was salt!
But, I got a hold of myself and went to Weight Watchers this past Thursday. I got on the scale wearing my jeans and a t-shirt and their scale said I was at 270! I was really happy because usually whenever I go anywhere other than my scale I am disappointed with the huge difference. So, I did join Weight Watchers. I am kinda excited and nervous about it. Today is day 2 and it just seems too easy. I felt funny being able to eat pancakes (nutrigrain) in the morning if I want. I am just so used to telling myself that there are foods that I just can't have... but on this plan I choose healthy options first and if I have room I can sneak in some "bad" foods. So, essentially they are not "bad" anymore. Honestly, it does seem like something I could do for the rest of my life. I have no idea if my body is going to react positively due to my insulin resistance... but I have to try or I will never know. This could be the plan that I could see through to the end. Lets pray so right!?
Well, I have been doing Phase 1 of South Beach. I started feeling bad Friday, but I brushed it off to the weather, then again Saturday and it was a lot worse. I was lightheaded, spacey, couldn't concentrate, irritable, and my skin kept flushing, plus heart palpitations. So, I was reading about what could be going on and it is possible that my blood sugar was just way too low. I am on metformin for my P.C.O.S. and it regulates my blood sugar - but I think the combo of my meds and Phase 1 just don't mix.
So... I am back to square one. Plus, I just feel like I am starting to lose weight too fast - Friday I was at 269 and this morning I was at 267... I feel a lot better about losing 1-3 lbs a week because I know it will be a lot easier to keep it off for good. I never get excited when I lose weight quickly because in the past it has always came back to visit.. with some friends.
So, yesterday I was visiting my Mom, and I told her what was happening. She got really mad at me, because she doesn't think low carbin' is good for me due to my high side effects and ever higher failure rate. Her and my aunts just joined Weight Watchers and she was showing me their plans. Their Core Plan is pretty much the South Beach diet. She thinks that WW would be better for me because it is realistic with how I prefer to eat now, except portions and frequency. So, I have been considering joining. My husband got a little aggravated when I told him I wanted to join because I have wasted soooo much money in the past on weight loss attempts. So, I asked him about me joining (I think there is no registration fee right now) and just going monthly to save on money. He seemed okay with that.
I am really tired of reaching for straws.. I just want to find a eating plan that I will stick to. But, I guess I just need to force myself to do it - like I do going to the gym. So, honestly I am going to give this plan some real willpower. I'm gonna go on Thursday.
Wow, it is shocking that I am in the 60's. But, it really makes me happy! I don't want to get too excited because I'm on my period and I know water retention can change everything. So, the true test will be next Friday. I am going to start going to the gym again on Monday. I am feeling a lot better and I can breathe. Plus, I miss it!
Currently at 270, I am Morbidly Obese.
At 260 I will be Obese. (Last time at this weight: 2004)
At 195 I will be Overweight. (Last time at this weight: 2000)
At 160 I will be Normal. (Last time at this weight: 1998)
I have only weighed 160 once that I can remember. It was 9 years ago and I achieved it by only eating one meal a day. As soon as I starting adding lunch back into my eating habits I was back up to 180. So, since I am going about my weight loss a little more healthy maybe I can achieve it without starving myself.
1 pound is equal to 3,500 calories. I have 95 lbs to lose, which translates to 332,500 calories!!! I can't believe that I have consumed that many calories over what my body actually needs!
What a little piggy I have been! Oink! I think I am done with the "piggy" scene... now I am ready for more of a "kitty" scene... tidy, groomed, and dynamic.
Happy Valentines to everyone! I actually don't celebrate valentines... I think the day is nothing more than a marketing ploy - I do give my kids some candy, and maybe get my husband a card -but that is about it.. I dunno, I guess I just really don't care about it... but Happy Day to all of you that do care about it!
Anyways, I went to the doctor this past Monday and she told me that my sugar was great (yay!) but my triglycerides are high (Blah!). So, in order for me to see the ripe ole age of 30, I decided I have to get serious about what I put in my mouth.
So today, Valentines I am starting Phase 1 of South Beach again. South Beach works for me, I can stick to it, and most importantly I feel awesome when I follow it. So, I am starting over - as far as eating is concerned.
I promised myself that 2007 would be the year I changed my life. I got really upset thinking that a month and half of the year is gone and I haven't lost as much as I could because I have been lazy. So, I told myself I am doing this - I am not giving up - I may give myself days to splurge - but other than that I am sticking to it!
I did somehow manage to lose 2 lbs this past week. ;)
Well, another one down. I am sure I am not going to see a loss this Friday just because I have been sick with a cold and haven't be able to go workout. On top of feeling bad from my cold - I feel horrible for not working out... it really does make me feel better.
Thanks BG for the comments on the cereal. I think you are completely correct - I cut out the cereal and I found that 1) I was less hungry and 2) I didn't crave sugar as much throughout the day. So, I have came to the conclusion that I need to eat something with a significant amount of protein in it for breakfast. But, I don't care for eggs, sausage or bacon... so does anyone have any ideas? I'm sure I am overlooking something that would work. I do love Atkins Carb-Free Shakes - but they are pricey!
I have been thinking about joining the Biggest Loser Club Online. I wouldn't mind some structured help with my diet... but I dunno if I want to pay $20 a month for it...
Well, that is about it -- I will be back hopefully this weekend. Good week to all!
Well, at least I lost something. I have been really down on myself because I have been eating so horribly. The trainer at Gold's told me that your diet is 70% of your success in weight loss. Well, I have the 30% exercise part licked - just gotta get the other going in the right direction.
Lately, all I have been wanting to eat is cereal. A particular brand - Life Honey Graham. I have been having two bowls for breakfast and then snacking or eating a Lean Cuisine for lunch then having another bowl for dinner. It is all I want! I am just gonna have to not let myself buy it anymore! But, I figured it wasn't' such a bad cereal to eat - 240 calories in 2 bowls with only 14 grams of sugar. What do ya think?
I did have specific dates for certain weight goals. I changed that -- there is no way I can lose 18 lbs in 4 weeks. I do want to lose 100 lbs by the end of this year - but I don't want to set myself up for failure and burn out because things aren't going the way I think they should be. I keep reminding myself that my body isn't what it used to be. UNFORTUNATELY!!
So my goals are listed for every 20 lbs and I will post pics as soon as I get to them. I would like to lose between 8-10 lbs a month.. but if I don't I am not gonna end it all.
Alrighty, my loss wasn't as much as I would have liked for it to have been - but I know there are a lot of things that kept it pretty steady. Some of those things were out of my hands and some where right in the middle of my hands. But, I am livin' and learnin' so I'm gonna make this week a little better. I actually worked out four times this past week... the week before I only made it twice so I felt really bad.
During my workout on Tuesday I started feeling really bad. My head started hurting, my ears started ringing and I felt real nauseous. I had to walk the track for 15 mins before I started feeling better. I wasn't so sure what might have caused that but then I realized I haven't been drinking my water like I should. So this week I have got to make sure I drink at least half of my days worth an hour before I workout.
I put on some of my really tight jeans and they are loosening up some. I know I have lost weight - the scale says so - but I am not feeling too much of anything right now. I hope that I will begin to feel a significant change soon. I don't want to lose a lot of weight and still be in "fat mode" mentally. That is the worst part about being fat - how you you think!
Well, I hope everyone is having a great new year. I have been doing the same ole thing... working out and cleaning my house. ;)
I didn't weigh in on the 5th because my gym partner forgot her journal to record her results... so I weighed myself at home on Saturday and my scale at home said 270.2 - I am trying not to get my hopes up that my weight is that low because the gym's scale is about 2-3 lbs off from mine at home. So to play it safe I am waiting until this Friday to do my official weigh in at the gym.
This is my 6th week working out. I have pretty much stuck to my schedule of 4x week @ 1 hr cardio. I am trying to be conscious of how many calories I eat along with what type of foods I am eating. Usually for breakfast I have an Atkins Shake or some type of All Bran cereal with skim milk. I have been snacking on strawberries, raspberries, and no sugar added yogurt. For lunch I have a South Beach or Lean Cuisine meal. For dinner I pretty much eat whatever I want but I try to incorporate veggies and a lean meat like chicken or turkey. I have been substituting ground turkey for ground beef.
I have been doing mostly cardio for my workouts. My usual workout is 15 mins on the treadmill, StairMaster, bike, and elliptical (in that order). My heart rate usually gets to 120 on the treadmill, 145-150 on the StairMaster, 130 on the bike, and 155 on the elliptical. I figure that is pretty good since my target heart rate should be between 120-160. I briefly spoke with a personal trainer at the gym and she told me to focus on cardio until I got a lot of my weight off then start introducing weights to reshape my body. My gym partner keeps trying to get me to do more weights - but I am sticking to what the personal trainer said... I hope I am not doing it incorrectly -- any suggestions?
