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2.12.2008

-1.2 LB, 97.4 To Go

Well, the past two weeks have been relatively good.

I have tried to focus more on what types of foods I am eating. I am going by the Core Plan on Weight Watchers to lead my choices but still counting my flex points. I have tried to limit my sugar as much as possible. I usually have some type of slip up everyday. I did have one perfect day recently though... last Thursday - I ate very well and even had 4 points left over after dinner to use for dessert. It felt so nice to do so well! But, I was busy all day. Being a SAHM, it is hard not to munch... and on that Thursday I didn't have time to munch. Today I didn't journal what I ate. If I think about what I have eaten today - I did nothing but snack until dinner time. My son had a big heart filled with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and who knows how many I finally ended up eating... 1 here .. 1 there...

But, I don't want to focus on the negative... the positive? I met my weight goal for last week. :) I changed my 1st Quarter Challenge goal from 235 to 249. It is just more realistic for me... I lose weight very slowly - but the weight I have lost I have pretty much kept off... which is good.

I have been working out like a dog. My friend (who is only 10 lbs overweight)started going to the gym with me again. After my 1st 15 mins on the treadmill and elliptical today she said she couldn't do anymore and moved on... I have surpassed her as far as cardio health. It is hard to think that my heart is in better shape than hers - yet I am 100 lbs over weight and her only 10 lbs.

One good thing about this journey so far is how much I have started loving to work out. For that 1 hour I feel like I have control... self control... and it is very sweet. Sometimes while I am working out really hard I will all of the sudden get this urge to cry and I have to quickly think of something else to get it to pass. I have never worked so hard in my life for anything other than this.

There was a girl in front of me and my friend today on a treadmill. Her body could not been more perfect - exactly what I dream about. She was normal yet fit. She ran on the treadmill for 30 mins + and had hardly broken a sweat. I wonder if she has always been like that? Has she ever been fat? Has she ever loved food too much?

Since the new year I have seen a lot more obese people in the gym. So many times I want to go up to them and say, "I am in this with you.." but I am too chicken. You never know how people will react to any comment related to their appreance.

Well, tomorrow is another day... and another chance to get this right.