Truth be told...

I suck at this!

I stuck to eating consciously for 1 week and lost 5 lbs... you would think that would motive me to do better ... right??? Yeah, not the case - I start slacking off and get too comfortable and my weight starts to rise right back up. It's the same old story... but one thing I am doing this time is I am not giving up. No matter how horrible I do - I refuse to stop - I am going to achieve this even if it takes me 10 years!

I told my personal trainer that I quit going to my Weight Watchers meetings. She said, "If you are not going to be accountable to Weight Watchers anymore - I guess you are going to have to be accountable to me - YOU ARE GOING to e-mail me every night with what you ate during the day." Ouch! Talk about not being able to dodge a bullet! I don't like being held accountable... it means I have to do what I "want" to do... but what I "want" to do hurts! But, the person inside my head keeps telling me that if I want to change I am going to have to face the demons I have been ignoring. Who wants to do that?

Well, I guess I do.

If I want to be the person I muse then I am going to have to get uncomfortable... tantrum and all.