Time to Change.

I have been feeling like such poo lately. I am sick .. AGAIN! I have been really down and depressed... not including stressed. I am just not taking care of myself. But, I don't know sometimes why it is so hard to comprehend that nothing is going to change unless I change. I want to eat healthy.. I do crave it - but I have noticed and so has my husband that I am self destructive. Why, would anyone be that way? Why am I that way? I have no idea... but I know I am. As soon as I start to lose weight - I start eating horribly and gain it all back (plus some). Once I start getting attention - I drop it and run. What am I so scared of? I am not doing anything bad... this is the best thing I could ever do for myself! Has anyone reading this ever felt this way? Anyone know where to start to conquer it?

Any suggestions or comments are appreciated. So, here I go again... starting over. The only reason I keep on trying is because I know it can be done - and I know that all the ladies out here in weight loss blogdom actually understand it.

So, here is my plan. I am going to wipe out all white stuff, no soda, no fast food, I am only going to eat when my stomach growls, I am going to mostly eat fresh food, and I am going to only eat small portions - about the size of my palm - at a time.

So, lets take in another breath and give it another go!

Simple Cure

Hey guys,

Thanks a lot to those who were concerned. I am doing... okay. Just been doing nothing about getting in shape... haven't cared too much about anything. How do you get back on your feet after being knocked down a million times? The first 100 times you still have some strength.. drive to get back up... I am just so tired. I will try to start posting more regularly. Anything to help.

Gott bitte.

It is hard to do anything when you are depressed.

Schokolade Kuchen

Ah, I totally screwed up tonight.

I had 3 pieces of pizza, 2 cokes, and a piece of birthday cake. Doomed! And you know what? It wasn't even really worth it because I feel like crap - I have a headache and I just feel like poo.

So, I thought I would take this time to look ahead as to what I am going to do next week. I know my Monday weigh in -- prolly isn't going to look to good at all...

But for next week I have a couple of goals:
1. Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat get up and walk for 30 mins.
2. Drink 8 oz of water each day
3. Stay below the calorie ceiling of 1800 a day.

I can do that... I will do that.... and I will be excited about it !!1!1!! ;)