Ah, well in the month of April I actually gained a pound. March was an awesome month with a 9 LB loss. I guess we all have some bad days, weeks, and months.... right? Oh, well I am determined to make May worth while.
My mouth isn't gonna win this month!
This month has been a BIG challenge...
But I have been getting up at 5:30 am and trekking it to the gym to workout. Working out at night was just too difficult to insure -- so now I go before my husband leaves for work. I made it 3 times this week ;) My goal is to go 3X a week until the end of May ... then I may bump it up to 4X week.
I have been very forgetful lately on the reasons why I want to work so hard to lose weight. My munching has been taking over and I have been really lazy about what I eat and if I journal it. So, I made myself a *Reward* Chart for some motivation.
@ 255: A new purse and wallet. (I need one for the summer!)
@ 235: New gym shoes. (I really want a new pair of Nike's!)
@ 215: A new mattress. (Ours has huge sags in it where I have laid on it!)
@ 195: New jewelry. (Smart Glass Jewelry)
@ 175: New hairdo!
I have already figured out the purse and shoes I want - it motivates me to know I can go get these things because of my hard work.
I also made a deal with myself that everyday that I stick to my point range and eat healthy I will deposit $1 into my savings account. When I get to my goal I will take the money and do something special for myself with it. Who knows what - but I am sure I won't have any problems deciding then! Now, if within that same week I have a horrible day I will subtract a $1 out of the account. So, if in 1 week I do great 5 days but mess up 2 then I will deposit $5 but subtract $2 giving me only $3 to deposit. I figured this goal could motivate me to not think "Oh, this extra *something something* won't hurt me." I am going to do my deposits on a weekly basis starting next week.
Whatever works right?
Argh... this week has been horrible! I am PMSing so bad - I am irritable, and all I want to do it eat mindlessly! I have been munching on cookies, chips, coke... the list could go on. While I am PMSing I feel like I have lost the reins, sturups and I am running wild!
How do you handle it?
When I go for something to munch on I grab some gum and go wild trying to keep myself at bay. It works for a little bit. I figure if smokers can replace smoking with chewing gum then I can replace my munchies with gum chewin'.
When I am PMSing things that usually don't tempt me begin to...I found a left over Dark Chocolate bunny from easter and it tasted so good - I wished it lasted forever!
I would love to hear from anyone about how you compromise with your PMS!!!
Well, I have reached the 10% mark.
Many things I have read claim that once you lose 10% of your body fat that your P.C.O.S. symptoms will improve.
Have mine improved? Well, I am controlling my sugar levels better, and my acne has reduced significantly. My hair growth has prolly gotten a little worse... but other than that I am starting to feel a lot better.
On a positive note, I have noticed an increase in my energy levels. As far as my body, my pants are much baggier. I can take off my jeans without unbuttoning them - which is nice! My stomach fat has been reduced significantly - which helps my insulin resistance. Plus, I can bend over more easily and cross my legs more easily too. All of these things help keep me motivated to keep trying my best to change.
I want control again - and I know I can have it. God promises it, I just gotta work for it. After carrying this weight for the past years I don't' mind at all the work that comes before the reward!
Sometimes I get anxious because I don't think I am losing fast enough. I know... I am demented! But, I remind myself that I am in no rush and I should enjoy the journey of learning how to change. What a simple thing that can be soooo hard!
Ah, well I haven't been the best angel this week, so I can't blame anyone but myself. There were some days this week that I didn't get any veggies in... yes, I know it is horrible!
Oh, well today is a start of a new week - and I am going to do much better!
Tonight, my husbands family is coming over for dinner. They want a meatless pasta dish for Lent and they are bringing something chocolate oriented for dessert. I am thinking of making myself some angel food cake that I can have for dessert that won't be so high in points.
I just hate eating something different than everyone else.. everyone always asks you why you aren't eating their food... "You don't like it?", "You're on a diet?" Then I have to explain everything to them... and I hate it -- they all are skinny and don't think twice about their weight much less what they eat... I am the only fat one in the bunch and I hate getting attention for it.
We are all going to the beach in September for a family trip. I really hope that by then I will have made a lot more progress so I won't feel so out of place in my bathing suit. Mostly, I want my good eating habits to be much more of a habit so their dining won't be hard to resist.
Abba put up her five favorite weaknesses, and I started thinking of my own...
1. Filet Mignon
2. Chocolate Chip Cookies
3. Burritos
4. Coke/Root Beer
5. Cupcakes
I am a huge carb freak. I love bread, sugary cakes... I love cupcakes with filling in the middle... I LOVE dunkin donuts cream filled donuts... I love anything chocolate chip oriented... anything Mexican oriented.
I constantly battle with my addiction with sugar. Sometimes I wish the crap didn't exist. I have thought that it may be due to my insulin resistance as to why I crave it all the time. Since my cells don't absorb insulin, they don't get glucose - so my brain screams for sugar and I go nuts trying to get enough, then finally my body gets its glucose and I crash... It is a HORRIBLE cycle. But, thank God for medicine - because now that I have been consistently taking it for 6 months + my sugar cravings have diminished quite a bit. It is a lot easier to manage my portion sizes.
You know, my husband is starting to notice my weight loss. Since he sees me everyday I knew that when he started to notice my weight loss - I would be making some mad progress. It feels really nice to be actually accomplishing something that I thought was near impossible... but I don't want to jinx myself because I still have a way to go.. and a lot more to learn.
